What Your Child Wishes You Knew When She Acts Out

Parent expect their kids to tell them what is wrong with them instead of yelling at parents and saying they hate you, in addition to calling you as bad mom or dad in the world. When your child misbehaves, it is because your child is unable to express the feelings. Kids start to misbehave in front of people to express their anger with their parents. When your child misbehaves, tell yourself that you have to guide the kid by becoming the emotional coach. Children mostly are unable to comprehend the complex feelings that are responsible for bad behavior. For example, children are more familiar with how to ride on cars. So, parents can assist kids to express their suppressed feeling, especially the one that bothers them.

When you feel that your child is calm, try to talk to them to take out these feelings and to make them feel better. And if you can see that your child is feeling better, that means the kid will act in a responsible manner. Parents need to know kids are not good at knowing how they feel, particularly when they say that they hate you. Therefore, try to reconnect with your kids by standing in their shoes and understanding from their perspective and how they see you as a parent. Kids sometimes are not able to convey what they want to in front of the parents and end up becoming more intolerant in their behavior

Children need the cooperation of parent in order to feel understood. The kid may feel frustrated about how unfair life is for them and the constant emphasis on rules. In this regard, you can help the kids to eliminate this feeling by guiding them and showing the bright side of things. If the child conveys his/her pain, listen to them and say that you are sorry for being inconsiderate. It may help to make them feel less upset. This means that you are ready to give an ear to your child and understanding their part of the story is necessary. So, you can change their behavior by hugging the child and respecting their opinions.

Understanding your kid’s feelings is required to defuse the situation. Kids have the tendency to learn over the time. You may think you know better, but trying to find a solution based on win/win strategy is the right approach. It means that both you and your child should try to understand each other views. If it is not working, the situation may get worse. This means that something else may be the cause of the tension. So, you may have to go to the expert to figure this out. Parents can also play with the children in order to reconnect with the child and the remove the misunderstanding.

When kids laugh, it helps them to relieve tension, in addition to the peer pressures.  According to the child experts, every child needs to have fun. If a child giggles every day, it is considered good for their emotional stability. Laughing releases oxytocin and other bonding hormones which are needed for reconnecting with your child.  It is helpful in healing your relationship that is required on the daily basis. Furthermore, you can play games that can help the child to deal with fears. For instance, games like peekaboo or chasing games to express their emotions. If your child is misbehaving, try to keep up with your sense of humor and convey them your concerns. The value of developing boundaries can play a role in indicating your concerns to the child.

Parents need to remember that laughing is an automatic physiology. When you tickle, children giggle but feel powerless. According to experts, your child may be having fun but it is not effective. If your child wants you to tickle them, that would show different results. In other words, if you do not tickle the child, it may make them giggle, but this is psychological more than a physical response, which is helpful in releasing fears in children.

You can make your kid feel safe by showing compassion. Parents can listen to the fears of the child without taking it personally. You can control your emotions by not trying to correct their behavior right away, just focus on connecting with kids by listening to them. Parents can express the deep love for them by showing more kindness. If you apologize to the children and try to find out the reasons of their temperamental issues, it builds a sense of trust between you and them. Moreover, your child may yell at you but if you stay calm and show composure, you may get to the bottom of issues in terms of identifying the root causes of the bad behavior.

If you can stay calm and polite rather than saying something as a response to your, your kid may burst into tears.  If your child starts to cry, hold them if they let you do it. You can stay silent; there is no need to say anything. Don’t forget to take a deep breath and remind yourself that your role is to help your kid. It has been noticed that crying helps to clear the head and it may make the child feel safe in the emotional space. Though talking is not recommended by the child psychologists, however, if you can do it without blocking the child block his/her emotions, it may work.

Once the child stops crying, ask them to limit what is making him/her angry and help them to stop crying. When the child is done crying, your job is to be there for them and help him pour out their feelings that bother them. Furthermore, parents can remain patient by staying with them and after some time, children are likely to apologize for their behavior.

In the past, when your parents asked you to stop crying, you would have stopped crying immediately without saying anything. However, it has a side effect; it may block the emotions of the child. Though parents get worried when they see the child crying, but if you are aware of the benefits, it may resolve the issues in the long-term. It is important to note that the emotions only go away if we feel them otherwise they remain in your body and drive your behavior. The child wants you to express their emotions and help them deal with it. In addition, the best way is to develop a connection is to guide their behavior. To conclude, one can say that the role of the parents is crucial for children.


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